if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
