FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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