I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
