the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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