I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
