This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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