sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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