are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
