Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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