i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
