Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm like, not good at living.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
