so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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