I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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