Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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