Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
