guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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