I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
