i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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