yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
