No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
