i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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