he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
