Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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