but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize