Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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