It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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