Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
