Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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