ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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