Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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