my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
