So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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