East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
