hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
