i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
