Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize