My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
kristin has been a bad kristin
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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