just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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