you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
