Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize