No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
