I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
