Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
