I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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