Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
