Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just found puke in my bra..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
