You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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