and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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