So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
