normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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