Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize