wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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