? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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