We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
