i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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