So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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