the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
