my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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