Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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