okay pat passed out under dana's car
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
