My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
