dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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