but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
