I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
