He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
