Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the day after is always just damage control
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
