AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Randomize
