dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
