I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize