I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
