I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you win again, gameday.
My pussy is not your playground.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
