Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
And then my night got REAL pukey
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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