All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
