Nicole vs. Life
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
