it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
