Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize