worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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