So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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