Non-Jews are for practice
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
